Everything you need to know about true love, part 23

I think it is very important to expose all those tricks that our mind is constantly serving us, because this way we can understand how our mind loves (or rather: fails to love), just like it is wise to know a lot about Africa, before going for a long trip. In this example, understanding how to behave around wild animals, which plants are lethal, or which can help you to survive if you get lost in a deep jungle definitely can be a crucial knowledge in sustaining your life. Or like a simple things; like knowing not to carry a fire around explosives. Those basics can save lives! We are talking about saving lives here, right? You remember that very high divorce rate (50 percent) that I have mentioned earlier? And those are only divorce cases that have been approved by the judge. One could only wonder how many couples from the remaining 50 percent are living in separation and financially cannot afford the divorce, or there are other aspects involved, like children’s custody, or simply one side is not ready, just yet, to come upfront with this life-changing decision, whether to themselves or to their spouse.

It is obvious when you decide to marry someone, you want to marry for a lifetime. And everyone desires great things happening in their lives: loving husband or wife, beautiful children, trustworthy friends, comfortable house, well-paid job, and so on. And no one is marrying with a plan to divorce, I think. But couples do divorce, all the time. It is never a simple decision, and usually divorce is already a very emotionally-draining process. And not everyone gets as far as divorce. How about all those horrifying stories of one killing another for love? No spouse believes it may happen to him or her, but it did happen many times before. The truth is that in the world we are living in, bad things happen to good people, just like good things happen to morally bad ones. By you know by now that if you love using your heart, you cannot kill someone. It is when your mind is so addicted and so overtaken by someone else’s personality that it develops a perfect image of that someone, and this image is so out of touch with reality that every time when you deal with that person, you can’t stand the difference anymore. Then one day your crazy mind decides to “fix it”, and the violence unleashes. And really there is no way to predict it. It is not like it happens only in poor families, or in the families with a history of physical abuse; nope. It can happen anywhere. And divorce is already an extremely painful experience on its own. Just think how many unkept promises, how many sleepless nights, how many broken hearts and how many tears had been cried, when divorce starts to materialize. And how often divorce is an easy task? You know; with no broken house, with children being totally okay with it, with finances being easily divided, and finally, with spouses being respectful towards each other, when in reality they try their best to throw away all the memories about sharing their lives together, forget about this huge mistake of marrying, and quickly move on. I honestly don’t think you will find many couples that can easily say it was a pleasure going through a divorce, and even given a chance, they would have never turned back the time not to marry in the first place. And divorce happens mostly when couple feels like their love is gone, and from that moment on, it is a fast lane downhill. But now you know that real love cannot be “gone”. “Love” will be gone when one’s mind will get tired of feeling what it feels, and will decide to move on. But that has nothing to do with true love. Just think about all the marriages that can be saved so easily, only if they knew that the so-called “love” they believe in (and now is gone) had nothing to do with their pure hearts, but rather with their lost and confused minds, that tried their best at mimicking true love, and at the end, just miserably failed. Those couples’ approach is justified, of course, because they have honestly thought that they are listening to their noble hearts, and had no idea about all the tricks that their minds are playing so cruelly, at their emotional expense.

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Everything you need to know about true love, part 22

Before we jump into the key part, it is a good moment to actually ask: “why would anyone want to know all this? And actually isn’t it ironic that we are using our own mind to explain to ourselves that we should… stop using it?” I know it sounds pretty crazy, but one of the mysterious of a human brain is that it can multiply thinking processes and be able to fully separate one process from another, at the same time.

You may be surprised how much of a contrast-thinking is happening inside single human brain. We all do it. And sometimes that contrast-thinking happens in extreme proportions. For example, think about this: why do we worry? And what do we do when we worry? Did you ever think about it? We are not 100% in charge of our mind, just in case someone says: “I live my life the way I want to, and I control it all the time”. If that’s the case, then why do we voluntarily let our minds to make us seriously sick, worrying about the things that we have no control over, or with the things that belong to the future and did not materialize just yet (and most of the time, never do). And what’s even crazier is that we let our mind to make us worry, and at the same time we approach it from a different angle and try to talk it over to… stop worrying us. What a pure madness! We always end up fighting with our own mind and usually nothing good comes out of it. Just think about all those people that are eaten up alive by their brains, lasting in horrible depressions for months or years, swallowing prescription drugs like a candy, just to survive and remain awaken for one more day. It is truly sad to think what a human brain can do to its own body.

And why would anyone want to know all this? Well, because love is the most important energy to every living organism. And deep inside, we all want to purely love another humanbeing, and we miss those early days when love felt fresh and was a surprise; an unpredictable force, driven by a vivid heart and not by a conditioned and well-trained mind. But of course no one, including myself, can force you to listen to my words. You really don’t need to, because it is all already hardwired deep inside you. Just listen to your heart as passionately as you can. Give it all the attention it longs for and simply ignore your mind’s cravings. You will then go further than any of my words can take you!

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Everything you need to know about true love, part 21

Observe very carefully what happens when you meet someone new. Even with your mind being busy working hard on determining how much of a danger that someone is to you (and by doing that, staining that person real image), even with all this work put in place, you can still feel a pure connection between the two of you, happening underneath all the masks you are wearing. By that I mean for a second, you can actually feel like you are reaching out and touching this person’s soul. It’s a short, but very ecstatic moment. It is almost like two happy dogs, seeing each other for the very first time and friendly wagging their tails, just out of curiosity. That’s how, more or less, our souls greet each other. But this blissful moment is over split-seconds later, when your mind finishes assembling a full image of person you are looking at. Nothing is original. Now you are looking at someone that has been built from many parts of all other people that you have met before. Nothing new is left here to discover. And it is not over, just yet. Next, your mind helps you put your best mask on, so that you can hide your real personality. So it is like two people that want to get to know each other, but instead all they are going to reveal are their fake masks.

It happens this way over and over again. People meet, they present their best masks to each other, they get used those unreal images, assuming everything will stay this immaculate way, and then when it gets too exhausting to maintain those false personalities, everything falls apart. Just how many times you have honestly thought you knew someone very well? How many times you did end up disappointed and couldn’t believe someone so close to you who you thought you knew so well, has said or done something totally out of line? Wearing masks is exhausting. And because of it, you are not free. You are constantly seeking the best mask to hide behind, and you use your mind help to achieve that. For that reason, your heart is constantly pushed away. And if taking off your mask and fully opening yourself will only frighten that someone you want to get to know, then it looks like they have some more work to do on their part, and are not ready, just yet, to accept you the way you truly are.

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Everything you need to know about true love, part 20

There is also another part of being a “proud” grownup. All adults wear masks, and that’s without exception. This is just another thing that differentiates us grownups from children. We all have plenty of masks, and we got used to using those so skillfully that a conversion from one to another happens with a blink of an eye. We all have precisely crafted variety of masks for our siblings, parents, grandparent, our spouses, children, lovers, friends and coworkers. That’s at least how many I can count, but I am sure there are more. Now, I know those masks are important. It is so sad that we need to wear them constantly, but in order to survive in this world, we really do. Just think how much different our masks are from each other. Can you imagine these horrible consequences of acting in front of your boss the way you do at home, with your spouse or parents? Or behaving with your kids the way you do around your friends? Masks do help us keep our lives organized, that’s for sure. However, I am concerned that we constantly keep wearing this or another mask, and as a result, long time ago we have lost that important touch with our true identity. I mean, do we still know who we really are? Children don’t wear masks. They don’t have them and they don’t need them. They always act the same way in front of whomever they meet on their journey. And if we are fully accepting their behave the way we do right now, even when they act quote-unquote “inappropriate”, then why, as a grownups living in the same world, we always have to hide behind different personalities?

And then, there is also that special unique mask, crafted from all the ”best” parts of other masks. Yes, this is the one we are using explicitly for meeting new people. This one is nothing like we are on a daily basis. Our mind helped us crafted it very carefully, because it has its special selfish interest in making us look better than anyone else.

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Everything you need to know about true love, part 19

I think we are all very proud to be grownups; that ability to fit into todays world of violence and cruelty. To run around and gain more and more experience of being competitive, sneaky and shrewd, and learn to be selfish and envious, so we can become so-called “successful in life”. Yep, we grew up, one can say. But how, at the same time, can we go to work and be cruel to our subordinates and secretly envy our bosses, hoping that one day we will take over their positions, and then leave work to come home and love our spouses and children with what we believe is a pure love and understanding. How is that possible? And do we really feel better now than when we were children? Do we? How is it that we have seen so much of this world, we climbed the highest mountains and dove in the deepest oceans, but yet the ability of our imagination cannot come close to the one of a five-years old? Seeing a child fully taken over by innocent play will always touch your heart. You will suddenly feel like its calling: “this is what we have lost”.

I think telling someone to “grow up” is like an insult. To me it simply means to lose all the pureness and happiness that a spiritual soul is bringing to this world. We are not talking about being a teenager; that’s a different story. Many so called “grownups” stuck in this frivolous stage, when their heart is being finally over-shouted by brain, so in a very short period of time all that pureness is gone. But that’s different. I am talking about how within the time we forgot how to be a child. We lost that ability. We lost that power to do things spontaneously when our heart used to talk to us out loud. Nowadays, everything is precisely calculated and so predictable, that this incredible journey called “life” became like a boring movie with a well-known ending. Sure, we have some fun here and there, but it seems that no matter how much entertainment is thrown at us, our mind knows it all so well, that it is not even exciting anymore. We pack our minds with daily life so much that we don’t need to go outside anymore. We could just sit home and imagine all the places and people out there. Its all inside our minds. Children don’t do that. They try not to remember too much, and that’s why they live their lives so passionately, experiencing the world to its maximum, instead of reaching in and finding it inside their minds. I wish we could do that. I wish we all could just wake up tomorrow with an empty mind, without any experience or memories, and take a first step again, to walk and feel the rays of sunshine on our face, without mind telling us how it feels, like the first time, and see passing by people, their unique and equally beautiful faces, just us, spiritually open with our hearts fully taking over the control. Without mind and memories being involved, it would be like a first touch, a first lone walk, like a first kiss, and then, we would feel awaken, like being sucked out of the land of dead that we all are living in right now. And then, I believe, we could become children at heart again.

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Everything you need to know about true love, part 18

Have you ever observed children? Whatever they do, they do it being fully immersed. Even when being angry, they are angry with their entire little person involved. And even then, they just look beautiful. Every single child that comes to this world is a unique living-being, carefully crafted from a pure soul and a healthy human body. Everyone is beautiful, whether it is Mother Theresa, Jean Paul the Second, or (and I know you are going hate me for saying that) Adolph Hitler. They all started as pure children with empty minds and very loud hearts.

If you want to see a real love, just observe children. They don’t have any idea of what love is, but still their love is always so pure. They will ask you every single question about every single thing out there in the whole wide world, and their questions may seem to never end, but how many times have you heard a child asking: “what is love?” You could think for a moment that this means that they don’t know actually how to love. Children love like noone else! They don’t hold any memories about love, so their mind always remains fresh. When it comes to love, they don’t know what to do, because they don’t hold any knowledge about it. So they don’t do anything! When children love, their minds are too inexperienced to take over the situation, so they stay quiet. And then they love with their hearts singing out loud, and with their eyes shining bright! They love with no reasons, because a heart that is awaken and vivid does not feel pleasures, like brain does, whether they are material or emotional, so it can’t be bribed with temporary feelings that selfish mind is feeding off. Imagine how our world of grownups would look like, if we could only love similar way. But what do we do instead? We learnt all this knowledge about love, then we let others to enter our lives and we wait until our mind is in this stage of a total addiction we like to call “true love”. And then with their picture as skewed as possible, the reality kicks in, and deeply hurt, we go apart. So we let others hurt our feelings, and then we devotedly learn how to hurt theirs, in return. And sadly, that’s what it is called to “be an adult”.

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Everything you need to know about true love, part 17

Someone may say: “I understand all this and how I learnt about love the wrong way, and what to do to start listening to my heart again, but every time when I try to go to that quiet place of solitude, my mind opposes way too strong, and quickly everything falls apart”. Well, my answer to that would be that you need to become a child again. And that’s not a joke! The only way to quiet down your mind and let your heart to speak out on its own again, is to reclaim your childhood. Let’s talk about this, for a moment.

If there is one thing we can all say and agree on about love, is that it is one of the purest energies out there. And that’s where we need to reach back; to those early days of our inner pureness! We need to go back to the time when we were children.

During those early days of our childhood, we can quickly notice a very disturbing thing, when looking forward at ourselves today. Because how can we become a child at heart again, when we even cannot cry anymore? Have you ever thought about this? Our skin got so thick, that most of us had forgotten when was the last time we have honestly cried. It happens time to time when a family member or a close friend dies; and all of sudden we feel detached and cry. But other than that, it doesn’t happen too often. Somewhere down the line, we have vigorously trained ourselves to never show our true feelings again – that means to cry tears. Even in the moment when we feel we wanna give up and cry, we do everything we possibly can to calm ourselves down and we fight tough to hold the tears inside. And that makes us feel that we are strong. We think it makes us brave. Children cry. Not because they are weak, but because they are honest with their feelings. That’s what makes them brave! Not to hide what they feel and run away from their own pure self-being, but rather to express themselves honestly. That is also a reason why their bodies are always so healthy and their faces glow with bliss. It happens, because when they are sad or angry, they just cry. They never let all those negative thoughts run through their system, inside their veins and then slowly dissolve into their bodies. We lost that ability to cry, so our bodies are getting out of mental and physical shape. We are getting old as fast as never before. We are constantly sad and depressed. Our immune systems are weak; women cannot have children at such an early age, while men lose vision and get bold early. And relaxing with a drink and a cigarette while watching the TV until late hours, or sharing a problem with friend, or even eating handful of prescriptions won’t do it. We can’t cry anymore when our close friend, spouse or our boss said or did something wrong, and all this negative energy remains in our systems, forever. To let it out, some people do run into heavy drinking or violence, but obviously that doesn’t help and only creates more sadness and frustration. There is no other way to become pure again, than to learn how to cry.

We all need to be able to cry again. But it only can happen when we will stop pretending that we are strong, and let our hearts to take over, every time we feel we want to break down and cry. Stop fighting with whatever it is you are holding inside, and just release it, because your tears will help you to clean your body from all the toxins that it is holding inside. It will make you feel good and during this process of cleanliness, you will start hearing your heart whispering again.

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment