People will also tell you that love is not about what you see, but what one holds inside. But I’m not sure if I agree.
When I was younger, very often I found myself charmed by someone’s outward appearance. Their outstanding look (in my opinion) made me ignore and numb to what was under their skin. Of course, at some point the reality kicked in, and I learnt my lessons. I ended up hurt so many times, that I finally realized that it’s not about the look. “It’s not about the package – but what’s inside”, people say. But today I really tend to disagree.
So you meet someone and their appearance is satisfying you enough to pursue further. It makes you feel proud and feels good when you tell yourself (or rather: your mind tells you) that you truly love that person not because of their look, but rather because of all those great values that they wear inside: their natural charm, openness, honesty, nobility, cheerfulness, unique sensitivity, maturity, ability to make you laugh and so on. But one day, for example, your loved one gets into a very horrible car accident. Within the time, while physically recovered, he becomes totally different person. Because of that shocking event, his or her mind drastically changes. From an open and cheerful person, he becomes shy and prefers to be left alone. He lost his natural charm, cannot smile or laugh anymore and stays quiet all the time. Nothing makes him happy. He used to be noble and sensitive, and now gets angry without apparent reason, and seems to have problem with everyone, blaming people for his own unlucky fate. His mind changed 180 degrees. He is not who he used to be. Would you still love him? A person that before made you feel comfortable and happy; a person whose eyes shined endlessly and now they look so empty, how long before you give up? Before you decide: “this is not the person I fall in love with”. Before you are gone. Even if you choose to stay longer, that is, you choose to be unhappy with that someone, then you just trying to prove yourself wrong, and that is not what love is about. That’s why love neither has something to do with outward appearance, nor with what’s being hold inside. There are no reasons for which we could truly love someone: not for their look, not for who they are, and not for what they think or what they do, no matter how noble their actions are, in ours or anyone else’s eyes. If we try to love someone for who they are, then we will end up loving them partially – incomplete, because we will never know everything about them. There would always remain that fear somewhere deep inside you that there is a risk of finding something about them that will entirely change what you think and know about them so far; something that could make you stop loving them without another minute passing by.
If you want to truly love someone for a reason, then that reason should be simply for fulfilling their own destiny. For living on this planet and participating in this incredible journey of experiencing the physical world and progressing with the development of their soul. Nothing more. Anything else would simply mean that you love someone for something that could easily change overnight. And that can never be a true love.